Sometimes it feels like a very daring concept that you can just do things. I need to be reminded of this once in a while, but feel free to also read this as a motivation in case you're stuck. Or just read this as an ongoing ramble about agency.
You can do things, just in case you forgot
Similarly to making things, in our Western society we are often focused on all the rules, expectations, and structure there is in our lives.
Consumerism calls us to go inward, to strive for preservation in favor of play, turning our lives into processes when what we want - and what would ultimately fulfill us - is action. From feeding our neighbors to asking a stranger directions or speaking with a customer service person who isn’t yet a barely trained AI bot named Alicia, the window of random chances to practice spontaneity and casual empathy is closing on us at a threatening speed - Substack Club Reticient
I think it is very important to be reminded that you can do things. You can do things alone. You can do things that your parents do not allow. You can do things that you have never done before.
You can cut your clothing to make something different out of it. You can dye your hair. It will grow either way. You can decide to start a mini garden and grow your own vegetables. You are free to make choices! Free to do different things! This is your permission! Do things different from your parents of friends. Or just for once to experiment a side-quest of your life.
I have noticed that when you start doing something new, people are usually very interested and helpful and enthusiastic. It helps free them of expectations of themselves and remind themselves of all the possibilities there are. And even if the people around you do not care, that shouldn't be a problem either. You don't have to tell them if you don't want to.
Selective Agency
There is by nature some selective agency in people to eliminate friction and make things easier for themselves by playing dumb and not doing any hard work. I feel like this is very much hand-in-hand with not doing anything outside your regular routine. There's no finding solutions, no courage to try anything different.
This reminds me of the chapter Courage in the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, where she talks about her youth as a very scared girl. Everything scared her: the sea, the dark, the outside world, everything. Her mother did just the perfect thing: even though Elizabeth was scared, she still had to do it. It became her job to get the mail in order to get outside, it became her job to answer the telephone. It can still be difficult or scary - the fear is still there, but you can do things even though you are scared.
A left-wing excuse
People on the political left-wing justify systemic injustice by claiming you just have to work harder, take risks, and make difficult choices in order to get successful. In his Substack, Rutger Bregman argues that there might be a left-wing excuse for doing something about systemic injustice as well that is often used: it's taking no personal responsibility. There is of course a large portion to blame on the systems that are there, but there's also impact to be made if you try to solve things yourself. Agency is not a trait you're born with, but a skill you can learn.
Reference
- Very much related to the saying: the world rewards audacity, not potential, and also somewhat related to life is supposed to be fun
- Essay Things that aren't doing the thing about the things that aren't doing the thing (obviously)